How does it feel to have your heart broken?
Sure it does
Feeling like a Clown because of it, lately?
Believe me when I say, we are not both clowns in a circus
We are not the fools
Even though we’ve admitted it to ourselves through our many bitter tears
So, Who was it?
It will be between me and you, then I will tell you my sad story
I mean, who was the one who ripped you off?
The one who hurt you so deeply you’ll never be the same again
Who’s the one who didn’t care about you and how you felt or how you ended up, leaving you penniless, homeless, without confidence, devastated, whatever?
It was probably a…
Let me tell you
Revenge is bitter sweet
Revenge is so dark it eats you up from the inside out
But love, yes love is a different thing
It forgives, maybe not them
It doesn’t forget
Yet, it isn’t a good idea to keep hanging around those who keep doing you in
Better to Pick your friends very carefully
In time, You learn how to spot a user
And, they spot you, as the one who sees right through them
They walk away like the plague
Or, run Like the chicken shit cowards they actually are
You have to become more selective for your own good
Although, hurt can make you grow
And, become a better person
We don’t need to look for it, it will come for us, instead
But, at what price to your soul?
All that the assholes that hurt you do is eventually grow old and die and leave you with that feeling that never leaves
That messed up memory of what things they said and did to you unfeelingly
You get to keep all the pain in your heart
Isn’t that nice of them?
You gave the gift of you to them, and what did they give you in return?
They gave you A knife in your back
You become an empty shell
A burnt out cinder
And, woe to the next poor son of a bitch you take it out on because of those shit heads who ripped your heart out
They don’t give a ‘you know what’ about how you feel
They are the users and users don’t use users
They can’t use each other because they won’t let them
They use their next victim
They need people like YOU and ME to take advantage of
But, we’re not goanna let them do that anymore, aren’t we?
After they squeezed every drop of life out of you, they crumple you up and throw you in the trash like you’re a piece of garbage
But, you are not trash
It’s they who are rotten to the core like an apple
So, what do you do about it?
Well, I’ll tell you what I just did the other day before I wrote this
I bought ten red foam clown noses online on eBay
They’re coming straight from China
I’m goanna put one on and look in the mirror
Seriously, I did do this
They are coming soon on the boat
I will post a photo to prove it
Instead, I have a temporary clown
This is Just between you and me
Am I bitter?
It burns inside
All those crappy memories
But, I do admit, some are fading away
It comes with age
But, I’ve learned not to take it out on those who love me
That’s what we all need to learn
Don’t hurt the one you love, who loves you back
I hope I don’t get Cancer from all my pain
I don’t think I will
I eat too healthily
And, I love doing this
I’m a really nice guy with a dark side that’s harmless
Don’t do what you’re thinking, it will only get you in trouble
And, you will only live to regret your actions
But, it’s legal to hope they walk off a short pier or fall off a long cliff
Yes, It’s legal to think it
Can’t put us in jail or sue us for that, at least, not yet
So, I write poetry instead of murdering someone and going to jail for life or getting the electric chair or lethal injection
The prospect of that scares the HELL out of me
Death does, in all its forms
But, in the meantime, while you were waiting your long wait on death row…
You know what all those inmates would do to you, don’t you?
You wouldn’t be left alone for a second without someone F_____G with you trying to rip you off in some insidious way or push you around, intimidate, and hurt your body and turn you into their bitch
I would rather be an honest citizen who doesn’t act out their hatred
You be that, too, OK?
Of course, I live with a broken heart ripped out by nearly everyone I have ever trusted be it family or otherwise
In time, I sewed it back in again
I’m not a criminal, because I don’t act out what I think
But, be careful how much you think certain things, because they just might MATERIALIZE in ways you won’t like
I have a good heart and mean well
Nice guys come in L___?
Anyway, where were we?
So, what have we bitter people become?
Do we become Murderers?
Do we hurt nice people, because that’s the only people we can hurt?
We can’t hurt all the bastards and bitches in life, can we?
They laugh at that, they feed on it, they give a thankful evil gaze to us in return because we have the gall to think we could actually hurt their empty soulless hearts
It would only serve to empower them
Don’t give it to them
We lose on that one
We the good lose when we become vengeful
How do we get back at them?
I don’t know that we ever can
I have never been able to strike back
Is revenge God’s?
I certainly hope so
Because I know things could get done, then
He could kick some ass
He could cut them down like they all deserve
He could fix it if he wanted to and turn all the right screws
But, why doesn’t he do it all the time, if ever?
After all, it was He who created all this stuff
We call life
But, in the meantime…
Where do you relocate to get away from all those bastards?
Oh yes, I watched Portlandia
My step daughter moved there with her boyfriend for a while then moved back to a better job, here
She really loved it there
Weird how she had to move away to find a better job back here in the rat race, again
I think that’s where I belong
I mean, Portland
Or, Someplace like that
Where you can taste a lot of beer samples, wine samples, and look at a lot of Art and go to Farmer’s Markets and pick out your organic veggies and fruit
By the way, I love B Movies and TV reruns
I like all the Corny shows on Netflix
But, if you
Seek and act out revenge, you just might end up in jail
For example, Just Go and try to Slander those who’ve done you wrong
They sue you
They get some hot shot lawyer that twists and turns all the words so you look guilty, not them
You end up filing bankruptcy because you have to pay them and their lawyers all your hard earned money to fulfill a judgement against you
You get screwed twice
We don’t want that
Once is enough
You gave them enough of your money and time already
Make sure they don’t get any more of it
They didn’t deserve you
We know that now
But, You can’t see the damage done to your heart and soul
It’s as real as slander and cutting your body with a knife
It’s called cruel and unusual punishment
Don’t you want to read in the paper they burned up in their car on the side of the road?
How about they start their car and it blows up?
That’s really COOL
I don’t know if I can even say this in this day and age
Not even in a poem
I don’t know how much freedom of speech we have left
But, these thoughts might just come in your head
I wouldn’t tell anyone
They might think you’re a closet PSYCHO
Thinking and doing is a lot different from each other
Obviously, there are those who don’t know the difference
Thank GOD YOU and I do
We see all them looking out with clenched hands through the cold steel bars
If you’re lucky, somebody else will lose all their marbles and kill them for you, then they will do the time, not you
Don’t count on it
You wouldn’t get the satisfaction of hearing about it anyway
So, after these bad people screw you over
They just find another innocent VICTIM
That’s all they do
There’s plenty of good people like you and I to go around for them to take advantage of and use in their all too long lifespans
They are here a long time making the world a worse place for the rest of us
It’s what they do best
La di da di da they go without a care in the world, onto the next sucker
I’m sure, in their minds, they feel justified or they think very little about those things they do that hurt others
They just want what they want and think only of themselves
Smothered in their own Narcissism
And, you are a forgotten memory
You know, they are not like you and I
They have no feelings for anyone but themselves
They have no CONSCIENCE
Yes, they are the evil ones who point the finger at you and blame you and say it’s you who’s evil
Evil always does that
And, they are so sinister with their words, we get confused and believe them, because we were the ones who loved, not they
I divorced one like that and all she did was run off with the next door neighbor
So, Don’t believe their lies
After all, who got screwed over?
No, it was you
It’s always us because we give, they take
I’ll tell you something
These kinds don’t do something
They don’t read or write poetry, that’s for sure
They look down at it and laugh at it
We are the givers
We are the writers
What fuels us to write?
Love and hurt
Revenge is so bitter sweet
What do we do?
What have we become?
We, my friend, have become
Writers, Poets, and Philosophers, instead of
Bastards, Bitches, Common Criminals and Murderers
Because, even if you could get your justice which you truly do deserve to get
It wouldn’t heal your broken heart
It wouldn’t heal your sadness
If you read our poetry
You’ll find it Between the words
It’s not that we should thank those bastards for making us the way we are so that we are inclined to write and read poems
It’s that all they deserve is for us to give them the FINGER
Because, We don’t owe them a goddamned thing except for that
And, you nor I are one of them because we are right here
They would never be