Bits and pieces

bits and pieces, poetry, steven humphreys

Took a nap

when I woke

brain was broke

didn’t remember

who I was or

where I was

hard to cope

thought I might need a swift slap

kind of scary


I’d turned into a

freakin’ flamin’ fairy



fat a_s

next door


thank god


few seconds


cleared my head

I was wary

lost in my thoughts

still lazy

lying in bed

half asleep in a field of cows

right smack in the middle of a dairy

my mind came back



guy who’d remembered

me squarely

at my twenty year reunion

High School anniversary

matter of fact

it was no act

shouldn’t have said

I didn’t remember him


b  u  t


I feel badly about that


next time

I will tell him

I remember him well

if I live long enough to attend

our fiftieth reunion

(I pray I will!)

I have the sneaking suspicion he might be

Mel (vin?)

oh well

all those

(I have him narrowed down to 1 of 3 jocks in my track team photo group of my 1967 yearbook. Hey, it was a long time ago. Yes, I was a jock, too.)

bits and pieces

feeling swell

keep persisting till I live my life story

full measure

I must insist

I get my share of glory

I’m goanna damned well tell

high school finally passed by

rang the bell

came back later

took another look

continued class

higher school

read all 500 books

really got pissed

for all my life I gave up

and missed

I like what I do


I do this

an awful long time it took

awarded yet another

grandiose college degree

all is forgiven

I can’t resist


I finally found my nook

landed my six figure dream job

found my niche

now I can really cook

spent more

m  o  n  e  y

bought my beach view property

met my honey to be

found my true calling

became a coffee snob

stopped drinking green tea

that was me

t  h  e  n

strangers stopped calling me Bob

bought a better ride

stopped dressing like some kind of slob

one of seven sins

got me some phony pride

robber barons swear

it’s good for your vibes

eat your sugared cereal

it’ll improve your looks

make you healthier

shrink your weight size

it’s fortified


more lies

I’m like so mortified

it gave me a mouth full of cavities

up and down my ying yang

went to my dentist

pulled that aching tooth

I cried in pain

almost went insane

joined a gang

(of bingo players at the senior center)

rather be in sing sing

feeling like a ding a ling

cracked a fortune cookie


split in two halves

sound went


when will what we need

become what we already have?

when will what we want

be enough?

(turned the channel ordered another worthless widget put it on my visa that was charged up to it’s absolute limit)

picked up another slice

turned the channel

pounded down two frozen garlic pizzas

like that clay dice


I wasn’t timid

like another token

it was spoken

guaranteed thirty days

get a refund if it gets broken

got more stuff

turning into

bits and pieces

eventual trash and dust

things get rough

when the loan shark

gets tough

slices and dices you

like a loaf of bread

bits and pieces

running through

my head

we sensitive souls

are all alike

the insensitive go


at those little things

that make us hop on and ride our mountain bikes

the creeps don’t validate

they only justify

their own thinking




all us peace loving guys

and gals

have to keep in mind those ass_ _ _e  monsters are not our pals

what did we do to deserve all this pain?

it looms over us

like a ball and chain

thank dear


for petting kitties

who snuggle


like brothers and sisters

on my couch seat

bits and pieces


dug in deep

like kangaroo babies in their

fuzzy warm and secure



both my feline friends



my cats

bring me so such


this is so

dag nabbit

gosh darned

n  e  a  t!




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