Ashes to ashes

cremation, ashes to ashes, urn, pet, person, poetry, steven humphreys

A message to all you

‘lonely’ singles…

Marriage ain’t what

it’s cracked up to be.

The other week

my wife

popped up out of

nowhere with

‘When you die, I will

mix your ashes with your

dog Bubba’.

(I thought, gee, you are doing me such a big favor! just what I want to hear. I’m dead, my dog’s dead. We are both mixed in an urn…)

It caught me off guard.

(and, I thought I was the only one under this roof with a sick sense of humor. well, I’ve just been proven wrong. Again… She likes that. She’s right. I’m wrong. Man’s fate in the world of women. Get used to it, fella… make it easy on yourself dude. you might as well start likin’ it because there’ll be no end to it. That is, unless you get a divorce. But, then, you will just turn into one of those lonely desperate single’s once again. And, you will be penniless because she gets half. I’m sorry, but there is no escape from the joys and sorrows of life… Oh, you say, suicide? that’s always an option to keep under your belt… Murder? No, you might as well just end it all if you are thinkin’ that… Forgive and forget? Love, love, love. Love is all there is…)

I don’t remember how

we got on that subject

as I have a great fear of death

and dying…

(and, I especially don’t want to talk about her dying)

but, she brought it up

and, I wondered how it was she

spoke of it so easily.

I pursued what she said and of course

I didn’t get an acceptable answer

as usual.

(in other words, all I got was double talk, sarcasm and things got turned around like it was me who was the problem and she didn’t know why she said that and she was sorry, and other stuff like that, that makes you feel like an A _ _ _ _ _ E that you even said anything at all… and, she ends up crying and then I felt even worse and wished I had gone on a drinking binge got in my truck and drove over a cliff and crashed and burned in high flames…)

I do remember we must have discussed

the matter sometime earlier in our marriage

and that’s what it was I wanted

when I kicked the bucket.

I mean, it would be harder for me to

tell her I’d be sure to mix her ashes with

the cat’s.

she just said it so easily…

I felt,

‘did this woman fall out of love with me

or something’?

I asked her and she said


I almost told her she was

a liar. but, knowing me

I think I did anyway.

you know, love is strange

and isn’t exactly how you want it to be.

It has its own way about things and you

know it’s there when it is and not there

when it isn’t.

so, if someone says to you they will

mix your ashes with your pet

when you go try to take

it as a compliment

or that maybe

you should speed things


a bit

and go ahead

with the whole thing

and hang yourself

in your garage.

ashes to ashes.

And, yes, she knows I

write stuff about her.

I tell her.

I don’t think

she cares one

way or another.

Strong woman,

weak man.

I love my wife.


to my

world of love

and quiet


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